Opening your inner wisdom
Cleansing emotional blocks
Producing or furthering radical change from the subconscious to the conscious (and superconscious)
Becoming free from confusion and doubt
Discovering your passions and purpose
Journeying from the “old you” to the “new you” which is has a strong ethereal component
Had a conversation today that reminded me of something…
WHEN LOOKING AT REVIEWS ONLINE (ie: Rip0ff Report, Ye1p, etc.)… here are my professional words of advice.
I have been a licensed investigator in several states since the mid-1990s. As a result, many of my past clients were exceptional professionals who had been listed on Rip0ff Report, yet who have been wrongly accused and / or sabotaged.
AFTER HUNDREDS OF INVESTIGATIONS by my team, these were (and likely still are) the top 3 reasons people end up on Rip0ff Report & sites like it:
- unethical attempts by jealous competitors to indirectly steal their target’s clients or customers.
- disgruntled employees who were pissed off despite being fired because of their own incompetence.
- former patients who did NOT follow through on their own self-care yet chose to blame the doctor or therapist, saying their “program” or “advice” didn’t work.
- online trolls, haters, or cyberbullies
I’m sure we can both agree that we don’t have to look too far to see adults who do NOT take responsibility for their own actions. In fact, many choose to blame everyone else – from their parents and bullies in elementary school, to their EX, their Pastor, and even President Trump. After all, the jails and prisons are full of innocent people.
In addition, we can also both agree that many in our society try to complain to get “free” products or services. Many citizens in today’s society could be considered “vicious litigants” by court professionals. Just another manipulative tactic to get something for nothing.
Before we move on to how to voice your dissatisfaction with a business or individual professional, let’s do a quick RECAP. Most reports were completely unfounded or were a sick twist of what really occured in which – as expected – the sabateur was automatically the “victim” in their own story. In a nut shell, most were serious sabotage attempts by uncouth individuals who had an *agenda*.
(1)If you have a problem with a company, organization, or professional, first try to deal with them directly and privately. I personally feel leaving a bad review is unfair when used to vent because it’s human nature to pretty much never share what YOU did to mess things up… screw-ups take 2.
I’m sorry to break this to you but if you have a problem with someone in your personal or professional life, it is highly unlikely that you are 100% innocent in the matter so have some integrity.
Besides, posting or ranting “uglies” anonymously online is a cop-out… just another way to “hide behind the internet”. Interacting with someone face-to-face is perhaps considered primitive to some, but still powerful nevertheless. If the tables were turned, would YOU want the chance to work it out privately with your customer / client OR would you rather they ran like a spoiled toddler and tattled online in an emotional hissy fit? (more on this in a bit)
(2) It is always best to make your own decisions when interacting with professionals you are considering doing business with, and not depend on someone else’s opinions. Since many postings online are actually submitted by fake names or completely anonymous, why would you depend on the opinions of complete strangers? If they are too ashamed to reveal themselves, what does that say about them?
(3) And, as for Rip0ff Report specifically, let’s not forget that the man who put this website up has been sued repeatedly, and he’s using a tiny loophole in the federal law that allows him to never have to verify if any of its true, and he also never has to take any of it down. So what you put on there about someone, or what someone puts on there about you… will be there forever. However, what this site owner did was to create a service in which the sabotaged person or company could pay LOTS of $$$ in which he “MAY” remove the unfavorable comments. In other words, that website is a huge moneymaker for him so he doesn’t care what anybody says about anybody else. As for character… that speaks volumes about the site owner’s ethics and self-serving agenda. I could tell you something similar about Ye1p.
(4)When deciding whether or not to work with another professional in any capacity and you see a unfavorable review, TELL THEM UP-FRONT. Society is becoming so weak that they are afraid to speak! I personally recommend letting these professionals know on the first phone call or email that you saw the bad review online BUT add that you want to give them the opportunity to be heard. Most ethical professionals would appreciate the opportunity to talk about it. If it was YOU who was talked about badly online and possibly losing business, wouldn’t you want the opportunity to that as well? In addition, it shows the other professional that YOU ARE NOT one to just fall into the status quo and that YOU ARE CAPABLE of forming your own educated and objective opinions.
** What I personally do is set up a time to interview THEM in person or on video ** because when I tell them face-to-face about the review I saw about them, I am able to tell more through their non-verbal reaction than what their words could actually reveal. IF I still wish to work with them, as a formality, I will then ask for references. Realizing that about 50% may be friends or family, I contact them anyway.
However, absolutely NOTHING is a stronger indicator of truth than your own instincts. So much of society has become lazy and in a hurry that they no longer use their own instincts… instead they choose to believe what’s online… and yes, even posts by complete strangers!
Somewhere along the so-called advancement of our supposed *enlightened* society, we have opted-out of doing our part of the work. Yes, doing the above takes a little bit longer. However, doing the work also helps build YOUR own character and shows that you are a fair, objective, and credible professional too, not one who “goes with the flow” because it’s the easy way. PLEASE don’t be one of the lazy members of society, there are far too many already.
As promised earlier from (1) above…
QUESTION: is it ever OKAY to post a BAD REVIEW?
ANSWER: YES, and this is how I do it…
- If I do choose to leave a review online, I only do so after THREE attempts to privately work it out with the person / organization. I leave a few days between each attempt to allow them time to respond. This takes about 10 – 14 days total.
- If I do not have about 10 – 14 days to wait for resolution, I always wait until EXACTLY 11 hours after the incident occurred before writing the review. There is a very powerful forensically-scientific reason behind the 11th hour that I posted about before on my Facebook page.
Whichever option I choose, if they refuse to work it out, discuss it, or are total jerks, then I will leave my review but I only do so with objective FACTS and do not include any subjective emotions or opinions. Think in terms of the “who, what, why, where, and how” of journalism.
THEN… before I hit “post” or “submit” I always ask myself:
“If I had to go to court and prove what I just wrote, could I?”
If any part (no matter how miniscule it may seem) of my review says, “No”, I immediately reword it. It’s only ethical to do so.
PARTING WORDS TO THE WISE: remember, just as you are trying to be “stealthy” online, so are others. Take 5 minutes to look at the social media timeline or a news website and you will see that people are probably more psychologically unstable than ever before, or perhaps just as much as before but with more easy access to you, your loved ones, and they can easily show up where you work or live. In other words, you never know who you are truly messing with on the other side of the WWW.
Choosing to belittle, post rants and harrass people with “uglies” is exactly that – a choice. If you choose to always remain in integrity while being objectively and respectfully honest, you will likely sleep better at night, and remain safe from “society’s psychos”.
This morning I was reading a post that discussed gender identity. Last week I was filling out a government form that asked my gender. My choices were “male”, “female”, and “other”.
I guess I’m concerned and a bit confused…
Since 99.93% of humans have XX or XY chromosomes, I highly doubt anyone’s birth certificate says the baby’s gender is “other”. So, when did members of society stop being able to look into their own underwear and see their gender? Don’t want to look? Feel!
Either way, how can someone NOT know their gender?
I do understand identifying with a gender different than one’s own. For example, I was born a female but I’ve always been a “Tomboy” — I liked to play rough, I liked to play in the mud, and I’ve never been a giggly, pouty-lip-photos, baby-talk, dress-up, tons of make-up, over-emotional girl / woman. I have spent 30 years in a male-dominated, paramilitary, forensic field as well and for my entire life, 99% of my friends have been men. BUT I still know my gender is female and I’ve never questioned or doubted that.
In addition, many men are heterosexual yet still very feminine. Cool, rock your genuine self. But our genuine selves were born male or female; we were not born other. Now we are told that referring to someone as “it” is disrespectful but you can use “they”. From a mental health standpoint, unless someone has a multiple personality disorder, they are not a “they”.
Yes, I do understand how both men and women have been forced into gender roles… women stay “barefoot & pregnant” while men “bring home the bacon”. We also tend to live in a “blame the victim” (usually women) society… such as “oh she was raped? well look what she was wearing”, or “she should not have led him on or been walking in that area alone at night”. I also feel this is complete and ignorant bullshit.
BUT… like many other historical facts, these things were accepted by society back then and – even as sad, maddening, or disgusting one may feel about them – they were (and many still are) signs of the times.
We do not force change by succumbing to it. We do force change by not allowing ourselves to be society’s victims, not by making society more stupid than it already is and then rewarding the stupidity!
Why not stop wearing dresses and high heels if we don’t want to? Why not stop wearing make-up if we don’t want to? Why not stop fixing things around the house if we don’t want to? Stop becoming parents if you don’t want kids.
In other words, accept your gender, but stop giving in to the role-expectations of society.
What if our many historical figures such as Martin Luther Kingor Mother Teresa tried to say they did not know if they were “male” or “female” or they gave in instead of being driven by passion? I seriously doubt anyone’s passion is to fall into gender roles and expectations… so simply stop doing it.
In other words, resist society’s ignorance but stay true to who you were born to be.
Yes, things change.. but science has not (much)!
As someone who has worked in the forensic mental health industry for over 30 years, according to the American Psychiatric Association, in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), *thinking* one is a gender other than what they were born as is known as “Gender Identity Disorder” (GID) — ICD-10 code # F64. When society forces GID into widespread acceptance, it is the same as promoting sociopathy (note both are “soci”).
This is not my opinion… this is SCIENTIFIC FACT.
Another scientific fact is that BRAINS are not fully developed until approximately age 26–27. So why are parents allowing their 8 or 10 year old child to say they are “bisexual” when these kids can barely wipe their own ass and probably can’t even spell the LBGQ…. words? They cannot vote, smoke, drink, or do anything else legally. They can’t budget, pay rent, or drive a car BUT somehow in a VERY immature and UNDER-developed mind, they can identify with something other than “male” or “female”?
I do NOT care where someone sticks their body parts (unless it’s illegal or someone is forcibly harmed) but schools and society are messed-up enough. Home should be full of safety and security — one that promotes a HEALTHY identity in the child(ren). I do not feel this is being done. We screwed up society decades ago when it became pretty much “illegal” to discipline our children. Parents stopped parenting and video games became caregivers. That’s when children / teens stopped having respect for well… anyone & everyone.
Now we name our kids things like “Atom Bomb”, and “Home Run”… and have allowed the birthing of a selfish generation that doesn’t want to do anything except accept handouts. We older generations were taught strong work ethic, respect, and how to think… most of those individuals in our “millennial” generation (especially those born after 1992) decide they will go to work when or if they want to, are overly-selfish, and can’t think their way out of a paper box without someone holding their hand. Schools have lowered their standards and sooooo much more.
When did society STOP giving a shit about how our short-term allowances cause often-severe long-term problems?
Facebook, which I loathe and have since day # 1, allows human trafficking groups from Russia, pornography groups from the U.K., animal abuse groups and posts from China, and a bunch of other illegal and disgusting pages BUT try to post a scientific fact such as the one I posted this morning (below), and it “violates their TOS”.
(I had to accept it or be locked out and put in “facebook jail” for 3 days. However, I did contact them with my real thoughts on this)
We have collectively created a whiny, wimpy society who proactively and aggressively seeks out shit to be offended about. Then they continue to whine because nobody understands them, all while making bullshit excuses for their unhappiness as they blame others.
What happened to “Life is tough – suck it up buttercup?” or “Pick your battles and move on”? Worked for millions of us before now!
I’m definitely not saying society was perfect in any of the decades or generations before us, nor will it ever be. However, those of us over 40 years old likely remember when logic, intelligence, integrity, and science was sought-after in job applicants and employees. After all, medical and technological advances are just some of the things we gained from smart people!
Today, the intelligent hard workers get passed over for jobs because they intimidate someone. People ask for honesty, then call you an asshole when you are honest. The criminal justice system is trying to hire a bunch of social workers to cuddle and hold hands with convicts (I have worked in prisons and jails for decades and still do, and this does not typically work!), and now social media posts containing scientific facts violate terms of service.
We readers over age 40 also remember when we respected the elderly, our parents, and authority figures even if we disagreed with them.
What’s next? We shall see.
Again, I’m concerned and somewhat confused about the world we live in. If it continues, will we swallow ourselves whole?
Maybe we should… sure seems like our world could use a major cleansing!
If you missed Wednesday’s interview on 11/7/18, here is the replay from that Facebook Live & Zoom event with my friend, Kathy Dale.
If you missed Part 1 on 10/17/18, check it out HERE about the SCIENCE of handwriting analysis is truly life-changing from forensics to it’s therapeutic benefits.
If you missed Wednesday’s interview on 10/17/18, here is the replay from that Facebook Live & Zoom event with me & my friend, Kathy Dale.
If you missed Part 2 on 11/7/18, you can see the incredible interview and discussions of questions her followers sent HERE. I even analyzed more people!
It truly was a wonderful and rare opportunity for our viewers to ask questions that they have always been curious about or wanted to know regarding what can be discovered and / or healed through the SCIENCE of handwriting analysis and it’s therapeutic benefits.
UPDATES SINCE THE SHOW:
- “Scripts” ended up not turning into a YouTube show and instead was returned to it’s original, original name of Clinical Graphology (circa 1987)
- I also no longer host the forensic podcast but you can listen to the FAVES here
However I have decided to pass on it this time, with the agreement that I have the option of presenting at the TedX Conference in January 2020 instead. I likely won’t do that one either; I just am not that interested anymore.
Yes, I realize this was a huge opportunity as it has been on my bucket list for 10 years. However, what you may not know is just how intense the scheduling and deadlines are to do a TED Talk of any kind.
During the process I have received several questions that I will briefly answer here:
(1) No, you do not get paid to do a TED Talk, in fact you incur expenses in the form of time, money, and energy! I have always donated time, money, and energy to things I am passionate about, so this was not a big deal to me. But if traveling is problematic or you have budget concerns, definitely consider this before applying to audition.
(2) If you work an 8-5 job or have small kids or elderly parents you are caring for, you most definitely will require a very strong, diligent, and flexible support system and / or a very understanding boss. This was one of my main concerns due to an elderly parent.
(3) If you have health concerns, the stress with the TEDx scheduling and intense pressure put on you (often with very unrealistic expectations) can very easily exacerbate symptoms.
(4) All other questions are best answered at your local TEDx location since all operate a bit differently.
Now the question I am getting is WHY did I pass up this opportunity?
Well, if the above didn’t help answer that, maybe this will.
Without getting into a ton of details, this should help give you an idea as to “why”:
* I missed out on almost a month of planning script-wise because of this elderly parent in ICU (hospital) in another state.
* I was preparing for a large court-case / testimony deadline. My career has always been my priority and testifying as an expert witness is tough. Therefore it is imperative to have all the details in order by checking, rechecking, and rechecking again.
* I was helping financially & emotionally support my loved ones during a different crisis, so helping them resituate took priority.
* I was working on the deadline of the next book in my self-help series, which was due to publisher in a few days. This book series is my true passion-project, so…
* With all of this combined, I just could not give the TedX opportunity the time and attention it needed… nor did I want to.
In addition, most people do their TED Talk for a few main reasons:
(A) to gain credibility prior to writing a book… I have written dozens over my 30-year career;
(B) to gain credibility as an expert in their field… I’ve done that too, since 1987; and
(C) to bring more clients to their business. Everyone could use more clients right? I am passion-driven, not money-driven so this alone was not enough to push myself.
I had an amazing time at the audition and have made some great friends during the preparation workshops. However, pushing myself to submit to this opportunity would have done nothing more than take me away from my passions and priorities.
And please don’t get me started on the contract I had to sign.
This was simply not a win-win opportunity.
Oh and in case you are wondering… this was in no way an “emotional decision”. I have always been very calm under stress and I am very level-headed. I do not impulsively jump into major decisions like this or say “no” to opportunities without significant amounts of critical thinking. The timing simply was not aligned.
Therefore, after contemplating my decision very deeply for weeks, I felt an enormous amount of relief and peace with my decision.
So I guess I am sharing this with you as a reminder to always do what’s best for you…
Good question. You will find the answer somewhere in the below compilation in which you will find out how handwriting analysis compares to social service agencies.